Saturday, July 31, 2021

Midlife Euphoria Day 45

 Fostering Creativity and Imagination in Preschool Age Children

Published in Suburb Magazine

Creativity is essentially a form of problem-solving. But it is a special type of problem-solving—one that involves problems for which there are no easy answers; that is, problems for which popular or conventional answers don’t work. Creativity involves adaptability and flexibility of thought.

With young children, the focus should be on the process—the generation of ideas. Adult acceptance of multiple ideas in a non-evaluative atmosphere will help children generate more ideas or move to the next stage of self-evaluation. Most measures of children’s creativity have focused on ideational fluency. Ideational fluency tasks require children to generate as many responses as they can to a particular stimulus, as is done in brainstorming. This is considered to be a critical feature of the creative process. Children’s responses may be either popular or original and the latter is considered evidence of creative potential. Therefore, asking four-year-old children to name all the things they can that are red, we find that they not only list cars, apples, and strawberries, but also cold hands.

We know that creativity is not dependent on traditional intelligence. Just as children are not equally intelligent, all children are not equally creative. But as all children exhibit behaviors that evidence intelligence from birth, they also exhibit behaviors that evidence creativity.

Some characteristics of creative behaviors as listed by Marie Dingfield, are the following:

1. Wants to make discoveries on his/her own, learn by experimentation, and is independent.

2. Unusual curiosity, sense of excitement and wonder about the world.

3. Looks at things in unusual ways, more in-depth.

4. Is talented in many different ways.

5. Has a reputation for wild ideas.

6. Is a risk-taker.

7. Has a good sense of humor; may be a little offbeat.

8. Challenges authority often.

9. Has an ability to explore new solutions and alternatives.

10. May have intuitive solutions to problems.

11. Has an active imagination.

12. May have many ideas.

13. Often has a positive reaction to change, able to be flexible in emergencies.

14. Tends to come from families who allow freedom in decision-making and exploring the environment; stress openness and express enthusiasm for life; tend to be less authoritarian and foster spontaneity, individuality, and independence; read to their children, visit the library, and tell stories; and themselves are creative and comfortable with change.

John Gottman uses process in his emotional intelligence work. When a child is feeling upset, anxious, or embarrassed, after the consoling period of time where a parent is asked to just sit with the child for talking about the feeling, he asks parents to move to the problem-solving part where the child is asked to think of ways the problem can be solved. No answer is wrong, and the child is encouraged to think about what would happen with each of his/her ideas.

Adult acceptance of multiple ideas in a non-evaluative atmosphere will help children generate more ideas or move to the next stage of self-evaluation (“What do you think will work here?”). The critical factor in encouraging creativity is a non-evaluative atmosphere.

We offer some ideas for ways in which adults can encourage creativity in their children:

1. Provide an environment that allows the child to explore and play without undue constraints.

2. Adapt to children’s ideas rather than trying to structure your child’s ideas to fit yours.

3. Accept unusual ideas from children by suspending judgment of answers you are expecting. Give emotional support for original ideas.

4. Use creative problem-solving in all areas of your child’s life. Use the problems that naturally occur in everyday life.

5. Allow time for your child to explore all possibilities, moving from popular to more original ideas (“What else might it be?”).

6. Emphasize process rather than product.

7. Give children confidence to take risks, challenge assumptions, and see things in a new way.

8. Give toys and gifts that stimulate creativity.

9. Support your child’s curiosity and encourage questions.

10. Encourage and model risk-taking.

11. Provide a stimulating, responsive, and enriched climate with a wide variety of books, materials, and a corner of their own.

12. Allow for normal developmental growth patterns, such as regression to an earlier level.

13. Remember to leave “breathing space” or “dream time” for ideas to incubate.

14. Leave some time for your creative activities as well.

15. Let your child share your interests and discuss them together.

16. Encourage self-resourcefulness and responsibility.

17. Encourage the idea that “we learn from our mistakes,” not from our successes.

18. As your child grows older, include him/her in decision-making. Set as few limits as possible, but be firm on the ones you set.

19. Encourage your child’s imagination through the use of fantasy, imagery, role-play, etc.

20. Turn off the television!

Further, you could routinely practice some creative activities with your children. Some of these include:

1. Drawing a crazy picture.

2. Writing a nutty poem.

3. Singing a mumble-jumble song.

4. Whistling through your comb.

5. Doing a loony dance.

Question:

My five year old is not interested in writing the alphabets but loves to scribble on the paper and entitles these squiggles aero plane, train, car etc. Objectively these figures are way beyond any of these actual objects. How should I get him interested in drawing or writing real stuff?

Answer:

A child once pointed at a drawing of a garden and told me that his dog was in it. On not being able to see one, I asked him where it was. He replied innocently that it had just gone out of the garden into the house.

Children are very egocentric in their perception.  Whatever they imagine they think the others can comprehend it. It is inconceivable for them how anyone cannot fathom their logic. But this abstract reason demonstrates complex reflection on his part. Instead of mocking his efforts you should be asking him candid questions about his sketches and get an insight into the working of his mind. You will be amazed at his unexpected answers.

A vivid imagination is essential for creative thinking which in turn an important element of intelligence is. Do not restrict his drawings by asking him to copy stereotyped illustrations of a house, clouds, mountains, sun, moon or the stars. 

 This is the time for him to develop fine motor coordination, learn to grasp the pencil and write steadfastly. He must enjoy the activity of writing to become competent and drawing is an excellent way to encourage him to do so.

After this, learning the alphabet will be a cake walk. He will also acquire the gift to communicate through other mediums like art.

Midlife Euphoria Day 44

Help Unleash Their Imagination

Published in the May 2015 issue of Suburb Magazine


Imaginative play begins to develop between the age of three and four. Parents should actively encourage the development of imagination skills. This is important to make sure that a child’s imagination is not discouraged.

Imagination is like a muscle that needs to be used. Just as a weightlifter needs to exercise his/her muscles in order to strengthen them, children need to actively use their imagination skills in order for them to develop. The simplest way to do this is by including your children in daily activities. Letting your children help you cook dinner, clean the house, fold clothes, etc. are some of the best ways to expand their understanding of the world and to explore their imagination.

Television and computer games are inappropriate activities for young children because a child sits passively and does not need to “act” in order for action to occur. Imagination is developed in young children through action. When children need to do something in order to achieve results, they need to think more clearly about what they choose to do and what results they will get based on the decisions they make.

Encouraging a child’s imagination does not mean letting children be by themselves. Instead, a parent can help encourage a child’s imagination by working alongside him/her. If your child sits down to draw a picture, sit down next to him/her and draw your own picture. Don’t make specific demands for how each activity must turn out. Instead, let your child lead you and “do as they do.”

Stages of play in child development:

Researcher Mildred Parten first categorized the stages of children’s play—a standard means of describing a child’s developmental progress in social play. Children given the opportunity to interact with other children advance naturally from one stage to the next. Identifying a child’s stage of play allows parents to support the child’s growth and progression into the next stage.

1. Onlooker behaviour: In the earliest stage, babies watch other children play but don’t join in play. Instead the child follows adults, talks to other children or simply sits and listens.

2. Solitary play: Older infants and toddlers play with toys alone with some degree of focus. The child pays little attention to the play of other children although he may occasionally interact by taking a toy.

3. Parallel play: Toddlers and two-year-olds often play independently but side by side. Children may talk aloud to each other though not about the same topic.

4. Associative play: During the early preschool years, children interact frequently. They share materials but create individual products and narrate different stories about their artwork.

5. Cooperative play: Older pre-schoolers engage in play that involves a high degree of complexity. Children share materials, work together to create a theme and storyline for the play, adopt roles to carry out the play and assign roles to others.

Social and Fantasy Play materials:

Mirrors

Dolls

Role relevant props: cash registers, doctor material, office material

Housekeeping equipment (stove, fridge, iron, phone, pots, pans)

Doll equipment: Bed, high chair, stroller

Puppets

Stuffed toys

Play scenes: Small people/animal figures

Transportation toys: Cars, trucks, trains

Exploration and Mastery Play Materials

Sand/water materials

Construction material: Bricks, nuts and bolts

Puzzles colour, size, stringing

Pattern making materials: shapes/ colour/size/ stringing

Books

Music, Art and Movement Play Material  

Crayons, paint brushes, nontoxic paint and finger-paint.

Musical instruments: xylophones, Bells, rattles, blowing instruments, Recorded musc, short high quality films/videos that show animals in their natural environment.

Gross Motor Play Materials

Balls and sports equipment: Balls of various sizes, flying discs

Ride on Equipment: Tricycles

Outdoor and gym equipment: swings, slides, ropes, hanging bars

These can be introduced at age 2 and the complexity of the play materials can increase as the child grows.

Question:

My 3 year old son likes to play with dolls and other girly toys as my 6 year daughter plays with them. He has many cars and boy toys but he prefers my daughter’s play material? I am worried. What should I do?

Answer:

The older siblings tend to become role models for the younger ones. There is no harm in boys playing with dolls. It is part of imaginative play where they learn to role play. Once he goes to school   he will be exposed to various other pursuits and have friends who will be indulging in varied activities. Peer models and preferences become more important then and as  children grow they start identifying with their own sex stereotypes.


Midlife Euphoria Day 43

 Nurturing Self-Esteem

Published in Suburb Magazine

“If I had my child to raise over again,

 I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less.

 I'd do less correcting, and more connecting.

 I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

 

I would care to know less, and know to care more.

I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.

I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.

I'd run through more fields, and gaze at more stars.

 

 I'd do more hugging, and less tugging.

 I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.

 I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.

 I'd teach less about the love of power,

 And more about the power of love.”

-- Diana Loomans

Self-esteem is feeling good about oneself. Good self-esteem helps children try new things, take healthy risks, and solve problems. It gives them a solid foundation for their learning and development. For children, self-esteem comes from knowing that they are loved and that they belong to a family that values them. It also comes from being praised and encouraged for the things that are important to them, and from feeling confident about the future.

Children with high self-esteem:

  • Have a positive image of themselves
  • Are confident
  • Can make friends easily and are not anxious with new people
  • Can play in groups or on their own
  • Will try and solve problems on their own, but if not able to will ask for help
  • Can be proud of their achievements
  • Can admit mistakes and learn from them
  • Will try new things and adapt to change.

We offer some tips on how parents can nurture self-esteem in their children:

1. Spend time together: Give your child some focused love and attention every day. Take them to a special place, put the spotlight on them for special occasions and normal everyday fun.

2. Develop common interests: Find something that your child values and explore it in-depth together. Many interests pass quickly but your child will remember your partnership regardless of the topic.

3. Talk together: Tell them about your childhood, tell them about your grandparents. Tell them about your job – tell them about real things, not imaginary stories. Learn to listen to them, so that they feel reassured.

4. Make physical contact: Nothing registers as deeply as a simple, appropriate hug, cuddle, or pat on the back. There is no greater reassurance of their lovability than being touched and held.

5. Tell your child often that you love them: Children do not automatically feel loved. Research has shown that affirming messages have measurable calming and nurturing effects. Develop terms of endearment. Have fun and develop your own “love codes.”

6. Treat your child as if they are the most important person in the world: Children need not just love, but also respect and understanding. You must build bridges, and not walls. Even though you may not like to respect what they choose to do, your love must always be given unconditionally.

7. Create lasting memories: As children grow and develop, they have a basic need to belong. Take out the time to establish happy childhood memories in your child’s life.

8. Celebrate uniqueness: Children thrive when the important people in their lives recognize how special they are. Create posters, scrapbooks, photo frames, and journals about them to help them grasp your appreciation of them.

9. Don’t compare your child with others: Whenever there is a situation in which comparisons are made by others, reassure your child that they are special and unique in their own way.

10. Be proud of your child: Talk positively about your child in the presence of important people in his or her life, such as grandparents, teachers, friends, etc.

Studies show that during sleep, the subconscious reviews what has been recorded all day between three and five times. But it replays what has been recorded in the last 30 minutes before we go to sleep at least 10 times. Tuck your child in with those messages of love every night! 

Question

My three year old is a very fearful child. While other children of his age swing on monkey bars, glide down high slides and try out new rides in a park my little “darpok” kid goes only on a swing and moves away from anyplace where there is a crowd of kids. What should I do to make him daring?

Answer

There are many children like yours who have a heightened sense of self preservation. These children are actually more intelligent and weigh each situation with caution before embarking on it. By default they are less likely to get hurt while playing outdoor games. You should be grateful for that.

Leave your kid alone. Don’t push him to do things he is not ready to handle yet. Sometimes your insistence can put him off some activity totally. Give him time. Assist him to carry out new activities, ensuring that he does not fall. This will boost his courage. Leave him alone. You will notice he is trying out the activity gingerly and when he feels confident enough, he will surprise you.

My daughter was exactly like this and never took chances with anything that seemed remotely reckless. In fact at age three her heroic leap was a jump from the carpet to the floor. I wondered if she would ever enjoy any adventuresome activities later in life. But she grew up to go for difficult cycle and mountain treks just like her peers.

Most children till age three do not really play with other children. They may all be in the playground at the same time but are carrying out individual play. Do not concern yourself that he is not part of a group activity. Normally it is only after at 3+ that children actually start playing with each other with some bit of interaction. 

None of these activities have a definite milestone. It can be a few months here and there depending upon each child.

Instead of labelling him a “darpok” or a coward you should either ignore him or after a few attempts move on to something he enjoys doing.

Finally be happy that your cautious little one is not getting into unwarranted trouble.