Midlife is almost synonymous with midlife crisis. This chapter of life is looked upon with trepidation and dread rather than hope and buoyancy as I would expect. I will further elucidate why I feel so.
Midlife crisis is a term coined in 1965 by Elliott Jaques and used in Western societies to describe a period of dramatic self-doubt that is felt by some individuals in the "middle years" or middle age of life, as a result of sensing the passing of their own youth and the imminence of their old age. Sometimes, a crisis can be triggered by transitions experienced in these years, such as extramarital affairs, andropause or menopause, the death of parents or other causes of grief, unemployment or underemployment, realizing that a job or career is hated but not knowing how else to earn an equivalent living, or children leaving home.
Let me give a good raison d'être for each of the above dilemmas.
Extramarital affairs can occur anytime in one’s life and to restrict them only to this period is unfair. In fact being worldly wise one is equipped to handle the crisis with sophisticated acumen.
Andropause and menopause are psychologically triggered. Your approach ascertains how you undergo this transition. In my case I underwent a surgical menopause and was simply elated to be rid of the 3-4 days of uneasiness as the menstruation cycle is over and you can swim, exercise, party wear white clothes (one avoids whites during the 3 day period for fear of stains) with gay abandon 24x7. Similarly andropause for men does not reduce sex drive. One indulges in foreplay and many other intimate rituals which were missing earlier, bringing the two people nearer. The relationship takes a leap as one is more considerate, gentle, passionate and understanding of each other’s desires.
The death of a parent is always painful and to state that it is more devastating during midlife is again unwarranted. On the contrary one has more amenities in terms of time, finances and disposition to support the surviving parent during midlife. Before that one is caught up, struggling with a budding job, growing children and dealing with the pains of growing and nurturing relationships. Your all time regret would be that you could not be there for your surviving parent.
Unemployment or underemployment, realizing that a job or career is hated but not knowing how else to earn an equivalent living is a thing of the past. There are so many avenues open nowadays. From working in an office to working more productively from home, self enterprise to out sourcing everything is possible. You can earn without spending a penny by using yourself as a resource as a consultant provide expertise to establish an enterprises etc. Very few people stick to a job as dead wood if it is going nowhere. Depending on your capability there are numerous vocations that can keep you suitably occupied and also give financial security. It is a recent development that one witnesses bored housewives engaged in activities they are proficient in like baking, cooking with a frevour difficult to fathom. Now they conduct these chores as a profession at their own comfort. Not only are they appreciated by their spouses and the family at large they end up making a good pay packet for themselves. A catalyst to this is more confidence and pleasure which transforms the home ambiance to further cheerfulness. In this day and age I don’t know of anyone who has the drive, ambition, credentials and a hunger to work and yet is sitting at home lamenting his bad fortune.
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