Writing about
this topic may freak out a few but I passionately believe we need to be
prepared and skilled to face the inevitable fate of all …… senior life. With
age, bones tend to shrink in size, weakening them and making them more
susceptible to fractures. Muscles lose strength, endurance and flexibility –
factors that can affect your coordination, stability and balance. What do we
envisage when we think of old age? Wheelchairs, walkers, walking sticks, hearing
aids, inflexibility, speech distortion, lower mental ability. Sounds dreadful
but it is a reality that we must face.
Having said this, I have met remarkable veterans
who are leading quality lives in their eighties. They can function normally, though
a little gently, have worthy friends and continue to enjoy a game of cards,
golf, social gatherings, concerts and parties. What sets them apart from the
ones who are struggling for day-to-day existence? Well, the kind of malady one
is facing is an especially crucial factor no doubt, but how you approach these looming
years is also of great consequence.
Of late, I have witnessed
quite a few old people having falls and then never being able to recover from
them and move on. Most of these people were dynamic, inspirational and spirited,
people I looked up to. To see them deteriorate so rapidly after a mere fall is
heartbreaking. When you give up on one function of your body, it goes into a decline
and gradually downswings other operations.
My father was
one such person. He was my hero, ideal and mentor. A fitness freak, he played
tennis, was an ace swimmer and then turned to yoga. But in his senior years all
he could do was walk. After the age of eighty, he started losing his balance a
bit. I asked him to use a walking stick. He got truly angry and retorted, “Why,
have I become so old that I need a stick?” I told him that he was old, and needed
a walking stick. He would not hear about it. I got him a swanky walking stick
and implored him to use it as it would function as a third leg in times of need
and prevent a fall. He was intelligent enough (a topper in engineering from
Roorkee University, which has the status of an IIT now) to understand the importance
of three legs versus two but refused to use it. I tried teaching him to use one,
but it was awkward for him. He carried a stick with him but held it in his armpit.
It was more of a deterrent than help. His decline started with a fall, which
led him to being confined indoors and slowly giving up all other functions. It
made me extremely sad to see a brilliant, spirited person reduced to nothing.
On the other hand,
I once saw a middle-aged man almost running with a walker. I looked at him in wonder.
I followed him, and when he stopped asked him how he could be so skillful in
operating the walker despite his plastered leg. According to him, it was all a
matter of practice. If my father had mastered the technique at a younger age,
he may not have had any difficulty using a walker or walking stick when he
really needed to.
Inspired by this
example, I started practicing using a walking stick in my sixties. It was knotty
to say the least. One had to keep the length of the walking stick to one’s optimal
height. While going uphill, one had to bend a bit, pressing down with the stick;
and the technique was different while going uphill. Someone saw me use a stick
and laughed asking why I was using one. My proud retort was to learn how to use
it without a hassle when I need it. Now even though I do not need to use a
stick, I carry one. It is helpful on rough terrain and effective when going uphill
and downhill. It is also useful to keep stray dogs away. Most importantly, I have
lost my inhibition to be seen with a walking stick.
I seriously feel
that at the age of sixty, we should all induct ourselves into an orientation to
get a feel of some these basic appliances that we may need to use later in life.
Nowadays there are extremely sophisticated walkers with wheels, and you can
virtually run once you have mastered the procedure. Similarly, wheelchairs are
so user-friendly that you may never feel handicapped. Walking sticks come in various
shapes and sizes. There are the three-pronged ones which can stand on their
own. You can get ones with a seat on which you can rest when tired. Moreover, a
smart walking stick carried with a panache can be a style icon.
The counter
argument to this view is why we can’t learn this when required. My
understanding and what I have observed in the past is that when the misfortune
occurs, one is completely engrossed in dealing with the shock, pain, medicines,
dressings and physician visits. So much so that one cannot concentrate on mastering
the most important element to elevate one’s mindset and make one feel as near
normal as possible. Everything seems like an effort, and learning a new skill
becomes agonizing. One tries, and tends to give up easily because of lack of
motivation and a shattered spirit. Well-wishers appeal to you to try but you
pay no heed. Your temperament may become disagreeable, and sympathizers gradually
surrender. On the other hand, if one has been introduced to the appliance at an
earlier stage, it would be much easier to embrace it.
The same goes
for hearing aids. I have seen many elders complain about the discomfort of
their use. The very thought of wearing one is putting off. But now there are
very efficient and sleek looking machines that are not even visible, yet amazingly
effective. Similarly, if one has been introduced to them well before their need,
one would be far more consenting.
When mobility
becomes particularly challenging, one should cultivate a few sedentary
interests too, since people live long lives these days. Recently, I was lying
in bed for five days due to an acute backache. In a state of agony, I thought I
would be bored stiff. On the contrary, I was joyfully preoccupied. I watched
television, thanks to OTT platforms, played online bridge, which is a passion, played
online Scrabble, attended to emails and entertained myself with Instagram and WhatsApp
without any guilt and ridicule from my family. It was a win-win situation.
A sobering thought. I feel I can slip into old age quite easily.
