Midlife Euphoria

                                    Midlife Euphoria Day 26

                                            Monkey business 

As I mentioned earlier, one of the wonderful things that has happened to us after my husband attained superannuation is that we spend the entire summer in our hill retreat….a tiny little place in the midst of serene surroundings . Our routine is simply soaking in the beauty and charm of the place by taking brisk walks at any time of the day, as all times are a good time to walk. This keeps our physical state stimulated and to fuel our mind, we play bridge. It is the most idyllic life, slow-paced, yet we are socially connected to like-minded people who are all a stone’s throw away from each other. We catch up often without the frustration of long congested roads, and pollution-tormented drives. The pleasure and desire to meet is given a boost considerably as a result of which we spend quality time with friends and consociates.

Let me come to my story. Now, on one such instance we were busy playing our usual game of bridge inside our house, totally engrossed in counting our tricks and trying to make a slam. Out of the blue, the door opened and in that split second, a monkey took my spectacles away with deftness, right from my eyes.There was minimal body contact and absolutely no scratch  on my visage . It was a comparable to a pre contrived surgical operation conducted with very great  dexterity by  a world-class brain surgeon. Before we could say Jack Robinson, the rascal had vamoosed out of the door with the loot.

All four of us were nonplussed and when we collected our wits about us, rushed outside to salvage my soulmate, my eyes, and my vision. The rogue was perched on top of a tree waiting for us. He made himself visible and mocked us by chewing one end of my lifeline. We were told by our local gardener to throw an apple at him. We did the needful and, low and behold, he dropped the glasses which got stuck on a branch as he dived for the apple. The gardener went up the tree like an imp and recovered my monkey-chewed eyeglasses.

It was a scary experience but when I narrated it to anyone, it took a very comical twist. There were jests like “maybe the scoundrel took a fancy to your pince-nez”, or “maybe his eyesight disability was the same as yours”…….all said tongue-in-cheek with a beam on the face—a little annoying, nevertheless. We live a little away from the main town where sophisticated chores like repairing monkey-chewed spectacles cannot be undertaken. We avoid going to town as far as possible, especially during the season due to tourist traffic. But I had no choice; we needed to go to the opticians to rectify the damage on the support of my eyeglasses. After wasting an entire day on the Mall Road of the city, it finally got fixed.

The next day, we were at the neighbours’ place enjoying the perfect weather sitting in their veranda, absorbed in our regular game of bridge. Just then, a monkey stepped into the veranda, put his paw nimbly on the head of MY chair and whisked MY glasses off my face! It happened in a split second, exactly like the day before! I could not believe it. We went through the same drill. I flung a banana this time and he returned my glasses, which were rescued from a branch where they were trapped. Déjà vu...This time, the monster had chewed up both sides of the frame. It was outrageous. The tongue-in-cheek remarks continued and anyone could be taken in of their legitimacy but for the sheer absurdity of the whole episode.

The other three players were also wearing their glasses. Then why me, why only me, why my glasses only? These were the questions coming to me over and over again.

As a result, we cancelled our next bridge session and headed to the optician for repair once again. To add insult to the injury, the optician also chuckled while filing the sides of my spectacles and warned me that the next time, there will not be enough length on the frame left to support it on my ears. As we left his workshop with my glasses, I could hear his ironic jeer.

To make matters even crazier, the next day the same monkey (by now we were sure we recognized the culprit) took my husband’s spectacles. We retrieved them as before and by now, we had bought a file with which we could even the chewed up sides. The gags by the neighbours intensified as expected. I did’t really blame them as I would have reacted in a similar manner in the given circumstances.

After the last episode, the bridge sessions continued with all of us not wearing our glasses. I further decided to go in for contact lenses for these eventualities.

The jokes continued till one day, the prime jester lost his spectacles in a similar fashion. He still managed to convey in banter that now we had trained the imp to target others.

We pondered over this unique experience and realized the wisdom of age. In the first instance when the monkey had entered our house, if we had reacted emotionally by screaming or scaring him, he would have created havoc inside the house. Can you imagine a scared, vivacious, trapped monkey in your living room full of crystal, porcelain, lamp shades, light fittings, paintings, etc.? The thought makes me nauseous.

At some point, a friend had mentioned to me that once a monkey had raided her house and had made a beeline for her bowl of fruit kept on the dining table. She told everyone to freeze. The monkey ate to his heart’s desire and coolly opened the door and walked off without damaging anything. This must have been in my subconscious; therefore, I just stopped dead intuitively when the incident occurred. We gained from the wisdom of someone else’s experience.

The other thing in our favour was that as we grow older our reflexes become slower as a result of which all four of us senior citizens present at that moment could not react in time to scare the monkey, thus avoiding mayhem.

Talking of other advantages of ageing, I am reminded of another friend Rita. She kept an immaculate house. Each room has a spectacular view—some naturally as they are garden-facing (the well-manicured and landscaped garden is also her baby)and for some, she creates magic by hanging flowering plant baskets (Swiss chalet-like) or crafting a rockery with all the trappings of a waterfall, etc.

Her favourite room with the view overlooked the garden but with the span of time, the road adjoining it became very busy resulting in a lot of noise in the room. It became quite impossible to sleep there at night or even enjoy an afternoon siesta. She was crestfallen. To cut a long story short, shortly afterwards circumstances required her mother-in-law to take

permanent residence with her. Her mother-in-law was a fastidious lady with deep-seated compels.

Rita was all caught up in knots thinking about this. This was going to be a long-term arrangement which required a lot of fine-tuning. She, of course, wanted to put her best foot forward. Now, her quandary was to decide which room to assign her that would meet her approval. Finally, Rita made a decision to do up the two rooms she had in mind for her and waited for her mother-in-law to make the final choice.

One room was the one with the stunning view but the catch was the noise, and the other was the one with not that brilliant a view but serene and peaceful. Her mother-in-law arrived and Rita took her around to choose the room she desired. At a glance, the choice was obvious and she picked the one with the amazing view. Rita kept mum about the noise angle. She would cross that bridge when it came. Surprisingly, she never had to cross that bridge. With age, her mother-in-law was just a little hard of hearing and the exterior noise never disturbed her. In fact, she went around telling everyone that her considerate daughter-in-law has assigned her the best room in the house.

Thank God for small mercies of ageing!

Coming back to my monkey story, I learnt a lot.

It is not the provocation that matters but the reaction to the provocation that determines your attitude.

We have heard our elders, and even spiritual gurus tell us to count to 10 or take 10 deep breaths before retorting to an ugly situation. The wisdom behind this theory is to delay one’s reaction when being provoked.

In life, it is easy to lose our temper and react angrily at the slightest provocation without considering the consequences of our actions. Most of the time, reacting under provocation leads a person to have a broken relationship and feel guilty for their reaction for years to come. Therefore, it is best to delay your reaction when being provoked so that you can make a calculated response.

We are told that whenever you feel tense due to some irrelevant remarks, try not to react immediately. Do not let the provocation dictate terms for you. Make a conscious effort to delay your reaction with the help of will power and in the intervening time, choose the best possible way to respond. Always keep in mind that it is not people who provoke you, rather your own inability to handle situations that disturbs you. It is you who are responsible for your action, not the person who is provoking you.

This is easier said than done. But when you are in the glorious, golden years this happens quite naturally. Your reflexes become slow and you take a while to register and perceive inciting remarks or situations. It allows one to regain calm composure and respond properly.

Take for example: Your friend asks you how she is looking. You may say wonderful without noticing the dark circles under her eyes or the blemishes on her face, if you are not wearing your glasses. You would be giving a prudent opinion without lying. Your friend will be

happy and so would you be. Similarly, if you hear a shade less, you may actually duck an offensive situation because you missed the nasty barb.

My tryst with the monkey taught me to restrain myself and reconcile with a situation when nothing that you do can help change it.

Consequently, other than benefits on rail tariff and the separate queues for senior citizens during the demonetization drive, there are many more blessings to count once you reach midlife and beyond.

Moral of the story, Count your blessings rather than cry over spilt milk. Cultivate a sense of humour and learn to LOL even if you are the target yourself.