Midlife Euphoria Day 17

Q:   Where can men over the age of 50 find younger, sexy women who are
       interested in them?
A:   Try a bookstore under fiction.

This joke in my opinion is outdated and not relevant in this age.

Now-a-days the young, sexy and the go-getting women make a bee line for the 50 plus.

Reason or rather some of the reasons are:

1)      At 50 + a man is at the pinnacle of his business /career.

2)      He has maturity, authority and an immaculate personality.

3)      He is worldly wise and sophisticated.

4)      He looks suave and has cultivated style.

5)      He has an opulent life style and a luxurious car.

6)      He can offer to buy expensive gifts.

7)      He can indulge in exotic holidays.

8)      He has a bevy of staff to make you feel on top of the world.

9)      He is ecstatic with the attention from the opposite sex especially if she is young, sexy and obliging.

10)  It is easy to boost up his ego by simple maneuvers.

The rationale can go on and on but I think I have made my point.

In the recent years the very disturbing trend has been witnessed is  the so called rock solid marriages that seem to be shaking. People who have been married for years are suddenly finding solace in someone else’s arms.

A wealthy, successful chap does not want to put up with the tantrums of his menopausal wife especially when he has a young vibrant secretary who is just the converse of his pragmatic and ageing wife.

There are many celebrity married couples where the man is old enough to be the father of the woman. Whether it is younger woman dating older man, older women dating younger men or women getting attracted to already married men, society does not look kindly at the woman in such relationships. Those women are often branded as gold diggers or the other woman whereas the man in the relationship would be called a ‘stud’ or ‘hero’

This drift has been around for a while. This happens more so with celebrities because they are so much in the public glare and the reactions are all the more manifest. However the phenomenon, whether people like it or not, is increasingly coming out in the open. In the past too, such relationships existed but were not talked about too much.

 In Bollywood, Thespian Dalip Kumar married Saira Banu who was considered a beauty in those days and was half his age, then Rajesh Khanna married Dimple who was about 20 years his junior in age.

Step into Hollywood it is common to find young girls losing their hearts to famous, flourishing older people. Hugh Hefner at the ripe old age of 84 has married Crystal Harris, 24 year beauty. Hugh Hefner’s marriage to Crystal Harris will “definitely” be his third and last. The 84-year-old Playboy mogul thinks the 24-year-old beauty “deserves” to still be his spouse when he eventually passes away. Some other celebrated weddings of younger girls marrying much older men are, Ronald Reagan and Nancy, John F. Kennedy and Jacqueline, Elvis Presley and Priscilla, Prince Charles and Diana Spencer, Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell, Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones

The term cougar refers to a relationship where a woman is romantically involved with a much younger man and it was the theme of the 2009 super hit film "Wake up Sid". Audiences loved watching Ranbir Kapoor falling in love with the older Konkona Sen Sharma and even thronged the theatres for it.

In India, the most publicized cougar couple was Saif Ali Khan who married Amrita Singh way back in 1991. She was 12 years older to him. Their marriage had raised a lot of eyebrows, with people questioning the compatibility and the big age-gap, but it lasted a good 12 years. In 2004 they got divorced.

Even master blaster Sachin Tendulkar's wife Anjali Tendulkar is five years older to him whereas Bollywood actress Manisha Koirala has married seven years younger Samrat Dahal and choreographer-turned-director Farah Khan exchanged vows with eight-year younger Shirish Kunder.

In Hollywood the trend has been more common.Quite a few Hollywood celebrities have had successful "cougar" marriages

Demi Moore married Ashton Kutcher Demi Moore was 42 and Ashton Kutcher was 27 when they married. Tina Turner and Erwin Bach had an age difference of 16 years, Elizabeth Taylor was 20 years older than Larry Fortensky, Joan Collins married Robin Hurlstone, 25 years her junior and  Percy Gibson-who was 32 years younger than her. Gina Lollobrigida and Javier Rigauy Rafols were 34 yrs apart in age.

Other such couples are Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins (12-year age gap), Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon (10-year age gap).

Even pop diva Madonna, known for her experimental looks, tried it when she tied the knot with 10-year younger Guy Ritchie. But they separated two years ago.

Recently we have  witnessed non celebrity couples too breaking up just after the marriage of their children. It appears as if they had a pact to perform this last act before going their separate ways.

The wives are content with the hefty maintenance that the prosperous husband can offer and the man is happy to flaunt a sexy eye candy in his ageing arms like a trophy. The arrangement works for every one while the estranged couple continues to be friends. The children have little objection to the new member in their parents life as combating with the pressures of the modern day living, they have very little to do with them in any case.

 According to psychiatrist Sanjay Chugh, “ just as a woman would look for a father figure or fulfil her needs for protection in an older man, a man would look for a mother figure or fulfil his needs for tender care and love in an older woman."

Moreover, a drastic shift in the financial status has made today's women independent and they enjoy the power to pick and choose their partners without worrying about age, money and caste.

"Women today, just like the men, are experimenting and are also sure enough of themselves to take such chances. In this whole discussion, we must not make it a feminist thing as it is as much a woman's choice as a man's. The younger man is also, at the same time, taking the decision to marry an older woman," said Chugh.

Who says there is no excitement in midlife?